05.06.15

work is tiring me out. the amount of politics is crazy.
i know that there are even more politics in the outside world. there is no such a perfect place.
still, quite impacted.

and our poor boss, lost her standing in the management. think she could do less with the misunderstanding from us.

perhaps will get this blog started soon. needed a place to vent.

I smell graduation!

it has been 9 days since i received my results. thankfully i cleared all modules with good results. and soon i will be heading into the working world. till now, i still have no idea of the industry that i want to head into. currently still enjoying my holidays:)

2 more steps

it has been almost a year since i last updated. in a blink of eye, graduation is within reach. it is just 4 more days to the my first and 8 days to my last paper. barely prepared and feeling apprehensive about everything. kinda sensitive now to the surroundings. wondering what kind of jobs to look for after graduation. but till this point of time, finding jobs doesnt seem to matter anymore. need all the luck for exams! boom~!

tears of joy

the release of results was indeed a nerve-wrecking experience. the long wait almost killed all my active brain cells. but the wait was worth it.

no passion no direction

These days I always pause and ask myself if the things i am doing are of use: my involvement with @. There are so many things to take care of. Indeed, too many things happening at the same time can just sweep me off my feet and as a result, causing me to lose a sense of purpose. As such, passion without direction can be destructive after all. With almost zero awareness of future goals, i almost feel that i am finding my way in a mist.

I'm starting to think that I'm too ambitious. There's so much that I want to do that I don't know where to focus my efforts and I often end up exhausting myself.

***

Tomorrow is the release of results. Praying hard that all will be beautifully cleared.

Reflection

Perhaps the reason behind all these sucky feelings is the expectations of my leaders to be superhuman, to provide all the answers and never fail. I expect our leaders to be assertive, confident, in control. Can they, and we, live up to this? Or should leadership instead be aimed at altogether different outcomes?

Everyone is being encouraged to lead nowadays but there's no sign that it is being done well.

People call for enlightened leadership but what do they really mean? And can today's managers really think about anything other than the bottom line?

We hear a call for leadership that liberates.

***

he should be back from thailand i suppose..

back to where we have started off

Yesterday I met up with the OC (Sam, Jenn and Willie) at Marina Square Starbucks. Starbucks has become my favorite working and studying place for this semester. We had spent almost whole day setting our directions right, brainstorming for ideas and also to prepare for tomorrow's meeting with Managing Committee (MC) VP PBoX, Josh. Things didn't turn out well during the meeting at SMU. It's not what josh had said to us, but is what we have tried to communicate to him. We, the OC did not actually have a meeting with our VP PBoX, Audi. And whatever Audi communicated to josh was, 'the planning team this, the planning team that..'. The OC ain't the planning team, we are regarded as the execution team in the first place. confusing eh?

Josh highlighted a very important point - What is your passion? As said by David Sarnoff, nobody can be successful unless he loves his work. Our tongues seemed to be tied at the instant. No one really asked us that before. Surprisingly, the so-called passion from the planning team was because the beneficiary has agreed to be our beneficiary. That explains the headless passion. To make the situation worse, preparation was not done - proposals, sponsorships, etc. This is indeed worrying and, Willie is flying off to beijing tonight for 8 days.

It’s kinda interesting. I see this pattern over and over and over again and I wonder if it is just me or if it is something (obviously) I need to work on. When fear appears or I get scared, I shut down. I know this is something that i need to work extremely hard on, to overcome.

Putting aside all the worries, we went to the movies after lunch. Audi and Vincent went to play lan while me, Sam and Jenn went to get some shopping done. Along with Silu, the guys met us back at Shaw Lido for the showing of Fast and Furious 5.

my motivation <3 Vin Diesel

His leadership was greatly admired.

I didn't have much appetite during dinner. Mind was in a whirl. All about PBoX..

Damnit.