alright.
these two days, the same pointers had been ringing in my ears.
and it is good:)
it does push me forward. it certainly does:)
no worries, my dearies.

by chance, after meeting with laoda on thu, i always got a chance to have another 'meeting' with him on fri:)
it is happening for 2 weeks:)

and for this week, he did it again~
reading my mind + giving me solutions!
best of it, i didnt tell him anything!

at mac, he told us, in order to move on, we have to let go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in life.

think: are we a titanic or sampan?
we have to admit the obvious truth - we are the sampans.

after which, we get rational about what we can and cannot do which is to become realistic about what is and is not our obligation or duty to correct, change, or control.

if we've been plagued by a problem in our life, especially if we've had that problem for a long time, we might assume that we'd be eager to get rid of it. we might think so, but actually, when we get right down to it, the contrary is often more true.

people get used to having their problems, even though they may be uncomfortable and they would like to get rid of them. but you see, they may KNOW how to be depressed, or anxious, or sick. those feelings, although uncomfortable, are familiar to them.

on the other hand, contemplating something else is a bit scary. it may be hard to even imagine what life would be like without the problem that has been with us for so long. contemplating and taking action to do or be something else is even scarier still.

in fact, sometimes the problem becomes your identity. the way you talk about having or working on your problem may sound like it is your career. when you talk about "my depression" it may sound as if it is your best friend. it is easy to slip into this habit, and to think that the problem is part of your life forever.

hence, he always seems to link that 'emo' word to me.

the belief that you can't change may be so strong that it blocks all attempts let go of that problem. before any useful work can be done to change the situation, you first need to understand what that problem "means" to you.

he gave us an illustration. the 'thomas and the lawyer' case. the experiment was a success.

he is right. all the problems are imaginery. we did the topping ourselves; the fear, the pressure, the stress.

it reminds me of what he told me a month ago,
'are you the one of those who are afraid of failure? do you always see the negative aspects of the situation? are these negative aspects preventing you from getting what you want? are you scared of self improvement?

if otherwise, prepare yourself to face every failure in your life. always keep in mind that life is always in the cycle of ups and down, success and failure. if no one can be permanently up then it is also a fact that no one will be permanently down. every person has to face this cycle. it has been seen that the person facing the failure knows the sweetness of the fruit of success.'



if i were to think further that time...



what will happen if i let it go?
what will happen if i don't let it go?
what won't happen if i let it go?
what will i miss?
what won't happen if i don't let it go?

CONSEQUENTLY , does having these problems "protect" me in some or any way?

certainly, it sure does not:)

so at the end of the day, i learnt that sometimes, sometimes there are clues about why it is hanging on. there may be a belief that you'll lose something important by getting rid of the problem.

ultimately i need to believe that my life will be better without the problem than with it. Once i believe that and am really ready to take that leap of faith to let it go, i CAN change it.

not forgetting i must be willing to risk being somewhat uncomfortable, and to let go of the problem i know so well in order to discover the life i want to have. he added, until i am willing to to that, or else, i won't be ready to change.

this sentence somewhat sounds familiar.
'when the student is ready, the teacher appears.'

while on bus, i ponder. it's actually a lot like a swinging on a trapeze. you have to be ready to let go of the swing you are one, to get where you want to go. when you are ready, there are a lot of methods out there to help you.

as what darren says, let it go...the outcome is definitely worth it. :)





my mummyy is back:) weee! so happyy to see her again!

mummy is back, so where is my baobao???!!! :(

baobao..
where you?!
faster come back!
anyone who sees baobao around, pls help me catch her back kays:)