The night was horrible. Tossing left and right, feeling extremely uncomfortable, mind whirling, hot tears flowing down my cheeks which caused me to only sleep at 6am and I am supposed to wake up at 8am. First time that I experienced this. I thought I would simply cry to sleep, but I didn't.
When I finally dragged myself out of the bed at 8am, I looked for hints that whatever had happened last night was just a nightmare. Unfortunately, no such hints. Time to face the fact! Dragged my feet and washed up. Something was missing. His wake-up call. Cried again. Swollen eyes for school. Before leaving home, mummy came and comforted me, gave me hugs:)
met sharon at the bus stop. I was on time. Told her about what happen last night. Almost cried again. dora, irene, huiyin and jas came. carried on with project work. did manage to get him off my mind for a while. carried on to lunch, IA lesson, and project work again. surprisingly, I got 8 new messages and 18 missed calls during IA lesson. ps. school reception not good.
while doing project, my mummy called.
妈妈：ahgirl， 今晚你有回来吃晚餐吗？
我回答：当然有啦，都没人会带我出去吃了。
my mummy was quite stunned upon this reply though. so is sharon. haha:) she was just beside me when i was having this conversation.
ever since last night, I can feel the care and concern that my friends and sisters gave me. Needless to say, my first encouragement is from my little sister. after a day passed, whenever I was asked about the break-up, I was stumped and speechless. But overall was glad that ben did try to end it well. as what jy-mama says, my luck in r.s is improving. good sign.
and now, what i need is courage and strength to carry on. oh yes, it must include focus. why? on the way back, my mind kind of drifted away, while crossing the road, i didnt catch sight of the traffic light. in a flash, he was in my mind, asking me to be careful while on the road, bringing me back to my senses. thankfully the bus didnt turn in fast. and i escaped from the tragedy. hengz. just a minor fall but tears still flowed out. even though we broke up, he was still the one who was by my side, protecting me. heart ache more.
moon fairy and danika's song accompanied me home. every single detail around my house reminded me of him. tears unknowingly rolled down again. shucks man. i was supposed to be strong. i was supposed! i felt like shooting myself in the head!
everything seemed to be in a dream. it happened too fast. all good things must end eh? no idea of what he is thinking. after the parting last night, dun think there will be a chance to see each other anymore...
我只想念被你抱在怀里的感觉， 想念被疼爱， 想念被呵护。。。
但现在，我要学独立。
学会适应我的生命已经不会再有你。。。
适应每天再也听不见你的声音。。。
适应手机不再会有你传来的短讯。。。
适应晚上再也没有你那温柔的声音哄我睡。。。
适应不会再有人陪我去看我要看的电影，吃我想吃的食物。。。
适应没有人会特意为了博取我的笑，做出傻傻的事。。。
适应独自承受孤独，寒冷。。。
适应在家楼下再也看不见你的影子。。。
适应放学后看不见你。。。
因为。。
你已经不在我的身边。
你选择放弃我，抛下我， 最终离开我。。。
虽然我不知道为什么，但我也无可奈何。
这好像个非凡的童话故事。
美丽的故事，浪漫的情节，
但最后。。。
还是由悲剧收场。。。
现在，
皇后是又无奈又痛苦，又无助又迷惘。。
此时此刻的她好怕孤独寂寞。。。。。